Do you want to conduct the I Am, But I Am Not activity with your teams?
Identity is a complex concept in the workplace. We often categorize our colleagues based on surface-level traits or job titles, missing the rich diversity of their experiences. Social identity theory suggests that while categorizing helps us navigate social environments, it can also lead to stereotyping. This activity challenges those preconceived notions by asking participants to confront labels directly. It creates a safe space for psychological safety where team members can dismantle stereotypes.
In this article, let’s see how this powerful exercise can transform team dynamics and foster deeper understanding.
Here is an overview of the sections in this article:
- The core objectives of this exercise
- 5 variations of the activity, including the classic version
- Essential tips for facilitating this session successfully
- Frequently asked questions about the activity
Objective of the Activity
This exercise goes far beyond a simple icebreaker. It is a structured intervention designed to tackle unconscious bias and improve interpersonal relationships within a professional setting.
Here are the key objectives that this activity aims to achieve for your teams:
Breaking Down Stereotypes
The primary goal of this exercise is to dismantle the boxes we put people in. In a corporate environment, it is easy to assume that an accountant is introverted or a salesperson is aggressive. These labels limit our ability to see the full potential of a colleague. By explicitly stating what they are “not,” participants force their peers to re-evaluate these assumptions. This process humanizes the workforce. It reminds everyone that a job title is just one facet of a person’s identity.
Fostering Psychological Safety
Teams cannot thrive without trust. This activity requires vulnerability, which is the bedrock of psychological safety. When a leader admits to a struggle or a team member shares a personal truth, it signals to the group that it is safe to be authentic. This objective focuses on creating an environment where mistakes are not fatal. It encourages open dialogue without fear of retribution or judgment.
Enhancing Emotional Intelligence
Understanding oneself is the first step to emotional intelligence. This activity requires deep introspection. Participants must analyze how they are perceived versus who they really are. This self-awareness translates into better self-regulation and empathy. When we understand our own complexity, we are more likely to extend grace to others. It builds the emotional muscle required to navigate complex office politics.
Improving Cross-Functional Communication
Silos often exist because departments misunderstand each other. Marketing might view Engineering as rigid, while Engineering views Marketing as chaotic. This activity allows individuals from different functions to speak to their personal realities. It bridges the gap between departments by highlighting shared human experiences. This leads to more effective collaboration. It reduces friction caused by inter-departmental prejudices.
Celebrating Diversity and Inclusion
True inclusion is about accepting the whole person. This activity highlights the unique intersections of identity within a team. It gives a voice to invisible diversity—aspects of identity that are not immediately apparent. This objective ensures that diversity is not just a metric but a lived experience. It celebrates the unique narratives that each individual brings to the collective table.
5 Variations of the I Am, But I Am Not Activity
Here are 5 variations of the activity tailored for different team needs and contexts.
#1. The Classic Identity Reveal
This is the standard version of the exercise designed to challenge immediate perceptions and surface-level labels. It focuses on tackling one major stereotype that a participant feels limits them in the workplace.
Time: 10-20 minutes
Materials: Paper and pen
Participants: 3-8 people per group
Instructions
- Distribute a piece of paper and a pen to every participant in the room.
- Ask each team member to write “I am _________, but I am not _________” on their paper.
- Instruct them to fill in the first blank with a common identifier (like their job title, race, or age) and the second with a stereotype they wish to dispel.
- For instance, a team member might write, “I am a millennial, but I am not entitled.”
Debrief
- What surprised you the most about the statements shared by your colleagues?
- How did it feel to explicitly state a stereotype you wanted to break?
- How can we support each other in breaking these labels moving forward?
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#2. The Professional Persona Flip
This variation focuses strictly on job descriptions and professional roles within the company hierarchy. It is excellent for cross-functional teams struggling with departmental silos or misunderstandings about roles.
Time: 10-20 minutes
Materials: Index cards and markers
Participants: 3-8 people per group
Instructions
- Give each participant an index card to write down their official job title.
- Ask each team to discuss the common misconceptions associated with their specific department or role.
- Instruct participants to complete the phrase “I am a [Job Title], but I do not [Common Work Misconception].”
- Have them share their cards one by one while explaining the reality of their daily workload.
Debrief
- What is one thing you learned about another department’s reality today?
- Which professional stereotype do you think is most harmful to our collaboration, and why?
- How can we change the narrative about different departments in our daily work?
#3. The Cultural Context Connector
This version digs deeper into cultural background, heritage, and upbringing to foster deeper inclusion. It is particularly effective for diverse teams looking to understand the cultural nuances affecting their members.
Time: 10-20 minutes
Materials: Sticky notes and pens
Participants: 3-8 people per group
Instructions
- Provide sticky notes to the group members seated in a circle.
- Request that they identify a cultural group they belong to, such as a nationality, region, or religion.
- Ask participants to write “I am from [Place/Culture], but I am not [Cultural Stereotype].” For example, someone might write, “I am from the South, but I am not slow-paced.”
- Let everyone share it with their group.
Debrief
- Did any of the shared statements challenge a bias you didn’t know you held? If so, why?
- Why is it important to separate cultural heritage from behavioral assumptions?
- What cultural strengths are we overlooking because of these stereotypes?
#4. The Leadership Vulnerability Circle
This variation is specifically designed for management and leadership teams to build trust. It aims to humanize leaders who often feel the need to appear perfect or invulnerable.
Time: 10-20 minutes
Materials: Paper and pens
Participants: 3-8 people per group
Instructions
- Gather the leadership team in a private, quiet setting free from distractions.
- Ask each leader to reflect on the pressure of their position and the expectations placed on them.
- Instruct them to write “I am a Leader, but I am not [Superhuman Trait].”
- Have each leader share their statement to normalize the struggles of management.
Debrief
- How does admitting our limitations make us stronger as a leadership unit?
- What specific support do you need from this group that you haven’t asked for?
- How does this vulnerability impact the way we lead our direct reports?
#5. The Remote Team Digital Board
This adaptation utilizes digital tools to engage virtual teams who cannot meet in person. It ensures that remote employees feel just as seen and heard as their in-office counterparts.
Time: 10-20 minutes
Materials: Virtual whiteboard software
Participants: 3-8 people per group
Instructions
- Log everyone into a shared virtual whiteboard space like Miro or Mural.
- Create a template card for each person with the “I am…, but I am not…” text pre-filled.
- Ask each team to take five minutes to fill out their digital cards silently.
- Invite participants to “walk” the board virtually and leave emoji reactions on cards that resonate with them.
Debrief
- How does the lack of face-to-face interaction affect how we perceive each other?
- What is one digital habit we have that reinforces incorrect assumptions?
- How can we build better connections in a virtual environment using what we learned?
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Tips for Successful Facilitation
Facilitating a session on identity or stereotypes requires a steady hand and high emotional intelligence. The success of the activity depends heavily on how safe the participants feel.
Here are some tips to ensure you facilitate this effectively:
Establish Ground Rules Early
Before anyone picks up a pen, you must set the stage. You need to explicitly state that this is a confidential space. Make it clear that what is shared in the room stays in the room. This builds the “container” of safety required for vulnerability. If people fear gossip, they will give surface-level answers. Emphasize respect and active listening. Remind the group that they do not have to agree with someone’s experience to respect it.
Model Vulnerability First
As the facilitator, you set the emotional temperature of the room. If you stay guarded, the participants will follow suit. You should participate in the activity first to show them how it is done. Share a genuine “I am but I am not” statement that reveals something real about you. This demonstrates that you are willing to take the same risks you are asking of them. It instantly lowers the power dynamic between facilitator and participant.
Manage the Time Strictly
These discussions can easily derail into long storytelling sessions. While stories are valuable, you want to ensure everyone gets a chance to speak. Use a timer if necessary to keep the sharing portion moving. This is not about rushing people but about equity of voice. If one person dominates the time, others will withdraw. Be firm but kind when guiding the conversation back to the center.
Navigate Conflict with Care
Sometimes, a statement might trigger a defensive reaction in another participant. You must be prepared to handle this tension without shutting it down aggressively. Validate the feelings in the room without taking sides. Use phrases like “I hear that this is difficult” to acknowledge the emotion. Pivot the conversation back to the objective of understanding different perspectives. Your goal is not to resolve deep-seated conflict in 20 minutes but to open a door for understanding.
Close with a Positive Look Forward
Heavy topics can leave a team feeling drained if not wrapped up correctly. You must ensure the session ends on a high note. Summarize the key themes that emerged, focusing on the shared humanity of the group. Remind them that breaking stereotypes is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. Provide actionable steps they can take to continue this support. Leave them feeling empowered rather than exhausted.
Final Words
The I Am But I Am Not activity is a simple yet profound tool for any team. It peels back the layers of assumption that often hinder genuine connection in the workplace. By allowing individuals to define themselves, you create a culture of respect and authenticity. Teams that understand each other on a human level collaborate better and achieve more. Implement this activity to see a tangible shift in your team’s empathy.
FAQ: I Am, But I Am Not Activity
You might have these questions in mind.
Is this activity suitable for new teams?
Yes, this activity works well for new teams. It helps set a precedent of openness and honesty from the very beginning. However, you might want to keep the topics lighter for a group that has just met. Focusing on professional roles rather than deep personal traits is a safer starting point.
What if someone refuses to participate?
You should never force anyone to share more than they are comfortable with. Allow them to pass or to share a very low-stakes statement. Forced vulnerability can damage trust rather than build it. Often, seeing others participate will encourage reluctant members to join in next time.
How often should we run this activity?
You can run this activity monthly or whenever the team composition changes significantly. It is also useful during times of high stress or conflict to reset the team dynamic. Repeating it allows team members to update their colleagues on their evolving identities. It keeps the conversation about bias alive.
Can this exercise be done with large groups?
It is best to break large audiences into smaller subgroups of 3-8 people. Large groups can make sharing feel intimidating and take too much time. After the small group discussions, you can have a few volunteers share with the whole room. This maintains intimacy while accommodating a larger headcount.
Do I need an external facilitator for this exercise?
You do not necessarily need an external pro for this. A team leader or HR representative can facilitate it effectively if they have good rapport with the group. However, if there is existing tension or low trust, an external facilitator might be safer. They provide a neutral presence that allows everyone to speak freely.